Goodness it's been a while since I posted on here. My life felt like it was in a tail spin for months on end.
The Lord has given me this path to walk for a reason. I might not see the true purpose yet. But I hang on to the fact that I know it's there. Maybe these struggles will allow me to tell someone else that I have been in a situation like theirs or maybe it will give me compassion for someone else that I otherwise would have judged.
I know this time has also been hard on my family. Does this mean that God is teaching them through this or are they just innocent bystanders that get hit with my trials? Granted none of them are dying or anything, but I know it has taken an emotional toll and they have had to step up more then normal.
This year in and of itself has taught me a few things. Here is a list of 10 that come to mind now
1) That although I am still in my 30's, I am getting older and with each passing year my laundry list of illness get worse.
2) What my doctor told me in my teens about Lupus and Edometriosis is/has come true.
3) Loosing weight is hard when your on steroids, but easy when your so sick you don't want to eat.
4) That I need to take better care of myself. I need to eat better. I need some quiet time.
5) I enjoy my quiet time. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. But have come to like having even 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to read or just meditate.
6) More times then not, my Bible study, talk to God time is in my car. Sitting in the parking lot at work because I am early and alone.
7) Once Elijah figured out door handles there is really no privacy in the bathroom, And he is smart enough to figure out he has a captive audience.
8) I really miss my friends when I am so sick.
9) I have great friends who have brought us food, prayed for us, brought me medicine. Picked up Hannah. Called just to say you are on my mind and you are still my friend.
10) I feel like I have been a failure of a friend. I have missed things that I wanted to be there for them or their kids. I have not checked in with them as much as I should have. etc.
I hope I am on the mend. Thank you again for all the prayers and encouragement. And I am going to try to be better about writing again. Because it truly gives me pleasure.
