Not a book review :-)

Ok so I know it has been a while since I have wrote anything on here that wasn't a book review.

As most of you that follow the blog know we moved at the end of April that has taken up most of our time. We are finally starting to feel like this is our home. Getting boxes emptied and figuring out where to put everything. Although putting everything away is made much easier by the fact that we have SO much more room now. And tons of storage. The boy and the dog are loving the big fenced in back yard.  And all the extra living space. I can't tell you how many times they have laid on the floor together or played or Rooby slept while Elijah played. Elijah has even talked Hannah into enjoying sidewalk chalk in the back yard a few times. He absolutely loves the freedom it has given him. He can now play out there to his hearts content and I am not worried about him running in the road on each side of us or someone snatching him up.

              

After looking at this pictures I realized I have a bunch of our dog laying down. But that is the only time I can catch her on my phone camera and still be able to tell what I am taking a picture of. She runs around like crazy and has made fast friends with a couple of other dogs whose owner walks them by our place daily. On the back side of our house where the fence is there is great shade in the afternoon as you can tell by Rooby soaking it up <---  This is great for me since I am allergic to the sun, I can actually go outside and enjoy watching the kids and dog play too. Ron of course loves his 2 car garage and having all of his tools back under one roof. He still has to organize everything but I know it won't be long and I will hear the sounds of a compound miter saw and sanding again. (I already have a wish list of things when he gets set up again.. love you honey)

I have also been having my own set of health issues. I don't know if some of it is a reaction to the meds or combo of meds or just a progression of things. I know right now it is harder each day to get out of bed and go to work in the morning. It takes longer for me to be able to walk and I am in pain every night when I go home, not just some. I also have some other things that are going on but I won't get into that yet. The good news is I have an appointment on the 25th and will hopefully have some answers. So please say a prayer for that appointment if you think about it. I have really been praying about if it might be time to consider disability. The only problem with that is I will have to be off work for 6 months before I can file and that is not saying that I would get it the first time around, which most people don't. Although I miss a ton of work due to the illness' I have, I am still bringing in some money to the family budget. Thank you everyone for your prayers and love.

April Book Club Review

I am going to try to write 2 post today. This one for the book club and the second about all the stuff going on in our lives.

Born Wicked by Jessica Spotswood was this months book.
I don't usually read books about witches or vampires or any other young adult fiction really. But I thought I would give this one a shot.
Of course like all the Blog Her book club reviews I was given the book and compensated for my review. But the review is all me baby take it or leave it. So I figured why not.

Surprisingly enough I enjoyed it. The book is about 3 sisters who have this "witch" powers. They lost their mother who was also a witch.
However this is during the early 1900's and witch's were put to death. Their mother didn't give much instruction of how to carry on, so it is left to the oldest daughter to keep a hold and try to control her younger sisters. The Brotherhood has taken over and keeps a close eye on everyone. There are restrictions to the books you can read. What women should wear, how they should act. It is so suppressed that the main character Cate envies Arab women and their freedom. It is also about love and bonds between sisters. I don't want to give away the book, lets just say it's good and read it. LOL

I think I will read the next in the series when it comes out.
Come join my at BlogHer and read some other reviews or join a discussion.

http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/do-you-know-your-inner-wild-girl

March Book Club Review

Oh am I excited to give this book review. I couldn't wait to get this book and then when I did it was hard to put down. The book I am talking about is this one... Diary of a Mad Fat Girl (first off isn't that just a great title?)

Before I say anything about the book itself the author was self published. That means she had no deadlines but those of her own making. While taking care of a family she wrote a whole book. Sheez I feel like I am lucky to read a book much less write one. She then got picked up by New American Library, part of Penguin Group (USA). Who provided me a book in exchange for my review. I am also compensated by blogher, but the words and review is mine only.




Now on to this wonderfully funny book. The main character "Ace" is quirky and funny. She is a no nonsense kinda gal. The story talks about her life and her relationship with her 2 best girlfriends that she has had since school and her on again off again "love of her life" 
When one of these girlfriends get put in the hospital by her no good for nothing jerk of a cheating husband Ace and Lilly make it their mission to show her how scummy he really is. They know she will not leave him without prove and that is exactly what they are going to do. The book tells of their adventures and misadventures. And has some twists along the way. I found myself laughing out loud when I was reading this book. It is relative to the best chick flick in a book you have ever seen. It has it all, love, friendship, humor and dogs. 

Adjustments

Adjustments is such an easy word to spill out of my mouth, but actually making them in my life is hard.
There are many kinds of adjustments we all make from diet & lifestyle to spiritual. You name it and it an be adjusted somehow even our spines. My doctors and I have been adjusting my medications to try to decrease the pain and increase quality of life. When you are in pain all the time little things that we take for granted at other times seem difficult. Like getting out of bed, walking to the restroom, even brushing our hair. There have been mornings that by time I shower, shampoo and style my hair I am in tears or full out crying because the pain is so intense. But hopefully as we make these adjustments that will get better too.

Lifestyle adjustments seem to be the hardest to make for me. To take time for me alone well just doesn't really happen. I have gotten better at asking for help. I am lucky enough to have a family who understands for the most part what is going on and tries to help. I just have to remember that they are not mind readers and I have to ask for it or tell them what I need exactly. But I don't think that problem is unique to chronic sick people, I think women in general have a hard time with it. We try to do it all and be all for everyone in our lives. We just can't!!! If you take care of everyone else and not yourself you will crumble.

Last year was a hard year for me. I was sick almost the whole year it seemed. And just when I would get better one of the kids would get sick. We spent a ton of money on dr visits and medicine. I was thinking about all that went wrong last year and then I thought why am I dwelling on this? I can't change a thing about it now. Did you not have anything good that happened last year? You know what I did!!!  We had so many laughs and good times. Wonderful camping trips that were relaxing and awesome family time. Why do I forget these things and remember the bad?

Like I said in my last post I am watching my attitude at work. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I am trying my hardest to be thankful that I do have a job that I am (hopefully) getting a paycheck from while I look for another one. I have great co-workers who do their best to run interference with the boss for me. Who make me laugh when he upsets me.  Those things count. I need to remember that!

I also have great friends who pray with and for me. They check on me. They love me and I love them. Besides your immediate family there is no greater joy then having a good set of girlfriends. I lacked that for many years and now that I have it well it rocks. I love being able to call, text or send a message on facebook and say I am down and have one of them pick me up. I love meeting and talking. I need those hugs. If you don't have someone in your life that can do that for you find one. It will be worth the investment trust me.

In closing I may be sick more then not, but because of this my children have empathy for others. My daughter wants to go into the medical field and I think she will be great! She is kind and patient. She has an old soul and a loving heart. Elijah knows to be gentle with people and that sometimes people just need a hug to make them feel better. Those lessons I would like to think they would have learned on their own, but I really think God has used my illness to teach them these and so much more. Yes all my many diseases stink, but I am still alive. If I can justify in my mind that my pain helps someone else then it makes it a little easier to handle.

So if your reading this, you are a friend or a family member. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for prayers and support. Please remember that we are all making adjustments and growing. Today I may be in pain, but that doesn't mean I will be tomorrow.

Attitude

As most of you know from facebook I have dealt with some pretty nasty attitudes at work. While I am looking for another job, I have to hold on to this one til something else comes along. So I have decided after last weeks outburst when he was screaming and up in my face and more then once said "I know it's my fault", that I need to let it roll off my back and not take it so personally.

 It will not be easy I know. I am a tender hearted person. Growing up I got 1 spanking, every other time my dad would just raise his voice and I felt like my world crumbled. I get up every week day with knots in my shoulders and my stomach flipping just wondering what is going to happen at work that day. This is not how I want to live life. I have to make my life better. For me and for my family who also suffers when Mom is sick due to stress. I have to find a way to not let his ugliness rub off on me. I was studying Matthew 7 and once again verses 3 & 4 struck me, if you don't know those ones by heart those are the verses that speak about judging the sawdust in your brothers eye while you have a plank in yours.

Maybe my attitude hasn't been the best back to him, does his hate and anger give me the right to yell back at him? Where is the line between standing up for yourself and being the same mean person? I am struggling with this. I am judging him for being so cruel to me and the other employees but what am I doing wrong to someone else. Am I screaming more at my children, because I was screamed at? That is not fair to them at all. I will not let this bully control my home life. I will not let him bully my kids through me. Yes I want to be used as a vessel, but not for hate, bigotry and anger.

I know God has a plan for my life, maybe staying in this job for a while longer is to teach me a lesson. Not one I am enjoying, but maybe it will soon be over and I will move on to a new job.............

January BHBC Review

(I was compensated to give a review, but the opinions are my own)

This is the latest Book Club review.  It is titled "the underside of joy" written by Sere Prince Halverson

this is her debut book, and I will be watching for more from her.

This book touched my heart on so many different subjects. 

The first of which begins the story of the main character Ella Beene she struggles with 5 miscarriages before she realizes that her marriage is falling apart. She hits the road in search of herself and peace. She loves how the redwoods of California make her feel. So she follows that love to a small town called Elbow. There she runs into Joe and his two small children and become wife and stepmother literally the same day.  

Joe runs his families small general store that has been passed down 3 generations. 

Like couples do sometimes they go about their daily lives never really dealing with the deep or hard to talk about subjects. Ella knows the store has problems and that business isn't what it should be, but everytime Joe tries to talk to her about it they get distracted. 

It's not until Joe dies in a freak accident that she learns how bad off the store really is or how little she really knew. At the funeral of her beloved a woman she had never seen before shows up. She finds out this is the biological mother to her two children that left them and Joe when they were little. She had a bad case of PPD and just up and left one day without warning or any contact. After seeing her children again and supposedly getting her life back in order she decides she wants to take the children away from Ella.

This is just one more thing on Ella's plate! It is a great read and I don't want to give away too much of the book. But it will make you think about life and death. How much have you and your spouse planned for death and the one left to pick up the pieces. What will happen to the children, birth or step. Do you know where your finances are? Does your spouse know all the passwords? These are all things that came to my mind.

Come see more opinions and discussions at BlogHer.

Made it another year

Well we survived Christmas and New Years. The kids had a ton of fun in Missouri. Elijah told everyone he was extra good this year because he got 2 Christmas'. He is such a ham. Overall I think this holiday season was a great success. I missed my kids like crazy, but to hear the stories and joy they had, it makes it all ok. I only got to see my grandparents a few times a year growing up, we lived in Michigan and they lived in Arkansas and Missouri. I do have some fond memories. But Hannah has so many more already with my folks. She has traveled with them and gone with Papa to the movies. They will both have great memories that no matter how much I miss them, I wouldn't ever want to take away from them. I love that my Dad has carried on with Elijah of them going on "special field trips" (as Elijah calls it) to the movies. It makes them feel special. And my Dad gets a trip out of the house.

I got so wrapped up in them opening gifts at our house that I completely forgot to take pictures!! Opps!

I am still looking for another job, have had some possible leads in the last few days and sent out more resumes. Here's to hopping a new year brings about great changes in that department.
I am pretty sure if I get out of this toxic place it will help my health.

One question that keeps replaying in my mind is why are people so "thankful" over the Thanksgiving but not any other time of the year? Do their blessings stop? Do all the people fighting to defend our friends get to magically come home? (Their families and I wish) Maybe some are thankful year around they just don't verbalize it like they do during November? I know I am guilty of this. I do try to change up my woe is me posts on Facebook with what I am grateful for instead of how bad my job is or how bad I feel. I don't want to be Debbie Downer all the time. Sure I throw cute stuff in about kids here and there. But really why do I care about Facebook? Yes it's fun to read about what's going on in other people's life's. Maybe we want to feel like we don't have it so bad. Or perhaps we want to look to cheer us up. Whatever the reason. I am going to start telling the people in my daily life how thankful I am for them. Maybe not in those exact words. But I want them to know it matters that they are in my life. As Elijah would say "You are my bestest Mommy" who cares that I am his only mommy? Not me.... nope that is the best compliment my "bestest Elijah" could give me!!