Friday, February 17, 2012


Adjustments is such an easy word to spill out of my mouth, but actually making them in my life is hard.
There are many kinds of adjustments we all make from diet & lifestyle to spiritual. You name it and it an be adjusted somehow even our spines. My doctors and I have been adjusting my medications to try to decrease the pain and increase quality of life. When you are in pain all the time little things that we take for granted at other times seem difficult. Like getting out of bed, walking to the restroom, even brushing our hair. There have been mornings that by time I shower, shampoo and style my hair I am in tears or full out crying because the pain is so intense. But hopefully as we make these adjustments that will get better too.

Lifestyle adjustments seem to be the hardest to make for me. To take time for me alone well just doesn't really happen. I have gotten better at asking for help. I am lucky enough to have a family who understands for the most part what is going on and tries to help. I just have to remember that they are not mind readers and I have to ask for it or tell them what I need exactly. But I don't think that problem is unique to chronic sick people, I think women in general have a hard time with it. We try to do it all and be all for everyone in our lives. We just can't!!! If you take care of everyone else and not yourself you will crumble.

Last year was a hard year for me. I was sick almost the whole year it seemed. And just when I would get better one of the kids would get sick. We spent a ton of money on dr visits and medicine. I was thinking about all that went wrong last year and then I thought why am I dwelling on this? I can't change a thing about it now. Did you not have anything good that happened last year? You know what I did!!!  We had so many laughs and good times. Wonderful camping trips that were relaxing and awesome family time. Why do I forget these things and remember the bad?

Like I said in my last post I am watching my attitude at work. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I am trying my hardest to be thankful that I do have a job that I am (hopefully) getting a paycheck from while I look for another one. I have great co-workers who do their best to run interference with the boss for me. Who make me laugh when he upsets me.  Those things count. I need to remember that!

I also have great friends who pray with and for me. They check on me. They love me and I love them. Besides your immediate family there is no greater joy then having a good set of girlfriends. I lacked that for many years and now that I have it well it rocks. I love being able to call, text or send a message on facebook and say I am down and have one of them pick me up. I love meeting and talking. I need those hugs. If you don't have someone in your life that can do that for you find one. It will be worth the investment trust me.

In closing I may be sick more then not, but because of this my children have empathy for others. My daughter wants to go into the medical field and I think she will be great! She is kind and patient. She has an old soul and a loving heart. Elijah knows to be gentle with people and that sometimes people just need a hug to make them feel better. Those lessons I would like to think they would have learned on their own, but I really think God has used my illness to teach them these and so much more. Yes all my many diseases stink, but I am still alive. If I can justify in my mind that my pain helps someone else then it makes it a little easier to handle.

So if your reading this, you are a friend or a family member. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for prayers and support. Please remember that we are all making adjustments and growing. Today I may be in pain, but that doesn't mean I will be tomorrow.