Friday, June 3, 2016

Finding Me......

I know it's been a minute since I posted but I have been busy. Of all the moves I have made this one has helped me personally than any. Has there been the trials? Of course and there will be more.

One of the biggest advantages of living here in Dexter is being close to family. I knew I missed them living in Mississippi but didn't realize how much until I came back. It has been beneficial for Elijah too. Not only does he just adore my folks but he is getting to know some of his cousins better.  We have a couple of great neighbors too.  

When Ron and I decided that we would make a go of him transporting I knew I needed a support system. That was proved on Sunday, there has been lots of others but Sunday... I heard Elijah's cry and my heart dropped. With my medical background I knew he needed to be checked out. But I had taken a muscle relaxer and didn't feel comfortable driving. Drugs and adrenalin don't mix for me. I called my Dad and he came and drove us. Him being there also helped me cope with the anxiety and panic that  can take over.

That leads into the next topic. I am doing talk therapy along with seeing a Dr.
I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and Anxiety disorder with panic attacks. 
I am so thankful for Bootheel Councling Service for helping me through a grant. I am still not able to get Medicaid until we sell our land and won't be eligible for Medicare until November. It's a scary thing to be off my lupus meds and what my body may decide to do. But with the help of the clinic I am dealing. 
I didn't realize how very far down I had gone until I started to climb out. My self esteem was in the toilet I had really been hating myself. I am working on it. I'm learning tools to try to help with the anxiety and panic so I can do things and be a part of my family again. I'm trying and for now that's good enough.

As you all know we decided to homeschool Elijah this past school year. I bought a curriculum that I was familiar with and well it probably wasn't the right fit for him or me. We are still working on school but that's ok I was so worried about it but I finally realized that was why we did this for freedom. We are getting back into a rhythm and I do believe we will keep homeschooling. If our 2nd grade runs into the start of the new school year calender then so be it.  However I am going to make big changes come next year. Not sure exactly what yet but I am researching.

That's the scoop for now.