Friday, June 24, 2011

Catching Up

Summer always seems to be a busy time for us. With Hannah having divorced parent's her time is split up during the summer. It's the time that she gets a big chunk of time with her dad. You all know about her trip this year and that threw off our normal schedule. I have had to sit down with a calendar and plan with her how the rest of the summer would go. She wanted to spend time with my folks, time with her dad of course and with school starting at the first part of August that didn't leave much time left. She will not be doing much with her friends or youth group this year. And it makes me wonder if this is a sign of things to come? Maybe this is what it will be like when she goes to college which is just a few years away (OMG).

With both kids at my folks house this week and next, Ron and I have enjoyed the chance to get to relax and reconnect. Sure we miss the kids. We talk with them on the phone and they are doing great. They have fun with Papa and Grandma. They are spoiled rotten up there, as are all the grandchildren. Which is how it should be.

On the health front we are trying new meds. We increased the dose of one, decreased the dose of another and added two new ones to the mix. One of the new ones is for the bad headaches I have been having so it's not an everyday pill. The other is Cymbalta. I tried taking it in the morning and found that I am really groggy during the day. So I switched it to night. That seems to help some. But I have this feeling of  nausea  most the day. I don't have much of an appetite. Which should aid in the weight loss I suppose. It has not been a full week yet and I want to give it a chance. My overall pain has decreased which is great. I still have a lot of stiffness in the morning which is to be expected. I know I am sleeping harder, Ron says he touches me at night and I don't budge.  I really like this new doctor. He sits down and actually listens to me. He asked me great and intelligent questions about how I was feeling. It is really a great feeling to not be dismissed or told you need to loose weight and everything will be better. I know I need to loose weight, I have been trying. But when you try and then have to go on steroids it knocks you back a step or two. You loose faith, you want to give up. I was so proud as was the doctor that I lost 3 more lbs this last month. It took me years to get as big as I am now. It will probably take me years to get it off. Yes I wish there was a magic pill that would melt it all away, but there is not.

I am thanking God today for my life, my family and my friends. For the support that so many have given me. For the people who brought us meals when I was too sick to cook. For the friends that sent text messages or emails just checking. The ones who gave Hannah a ride. So many people have touched our lives. I only pray that I can be that kind of blessings to others. I have had some pretty dark times of late. But I see a glimmer of light. I see a piece of me coming back when I am able to laugh and joke with my husband. When I am able to be the tickle monster to my 3 year old. When my teenager is able to be in her room doing things teenagers do instead of cooking dinner for her too sick mother. I thank God for the doctors and the medicine that is getting me to those places.  I know the journey is far from over. I know that I was so down and in despair that it won't happen over night. But with many hands reaching out for me, I feel like I can climb up and back into life.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Oh good Lord in Heaven, tomorrow is the day I take my baby girl to the airport and put her on that jet plane.
(sing along with me now, leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again) Ok thats enough of that.
I am very excited for her. I have been fairly calm in the planning and discussing of this trip. But as the actually trip is nigh.........mommies nerves are shot. I am emotional and trying to hold it together.
Yes I know this is the trip of a lifetime. I know she will have a blast. And rationally I know that statistically speaking she will be safe and come back home in one piece. But a mother always worries err maybe I should put a parent. I asked my Dad one time when it got easier as I was worried about one of our older boys, he laughed and said well I still worry about you so I will have to get back to you on that one.
I know it is useless to worry and doesn't change a thing. It is something that I struggle turning over to God. Someone once said that being in a constant state of worry is like telling God he can't handle it or basically a lack of faith. I am learning how to turn it over, but I don't think I am alone in this battle.

I think it is ingrained in us somehow once you have kids to just worry. It start's sometimes before you are even a parent for some. Will we ever get pregnant? Why did that miscarriage happen? What did I do wrong?  Will this baby make it to term? Will there be any problems during labor?  Wills and Whats rule a persons thinking. Lets not even get into the list when they start crawling and walking. Then making friends and here comes driving and .......AUGH!!  I mean seriously how can someone not worry?

My parents always made me feel special and that I could do anything I set my mind to. I hope by giving Hannah opportunities like this it makes her feel a little of that. I hope I am hitting the mark with her, well with all our kids. Making them feel special and that they can do anything.

Ok so back to Hannah's trip, please say a prayer for her. This is her first time flying and being out of country without being with family. I have faith in who she is going with and I have faith in her. Like someone (name not used for protection) said on Sunday, the plane will always come down, it's just how fast. Yes he was punched in the arm by his wife. :-)  

I will put on a happy face at the airport tomorrow, I may cry after she is through security. But I hope she has a blast and takes lots of pictures. My how fast they grow up.

Friday, June 3, 2011

New friend this summer

After our amazing, wonderful, glorious (ok you get the idea) Memorial day trip camping. I found I really love spray on sunscreen. Gone are the days of getting your hands all goopy (yes official term) after applying it to 4 people. Just spray, rotate, spray some more then move on to the next person. Or better yet sit in your lawn chair and let them come to you. I prefer the later. My only complaint is that you go through a bottle really fast applying it to 4 people a few times a day. And you do still have to get a little on your fingers to put it on the face. Spraying directly to the face is not recommended. But overall I love this. It doesn't matter what brand, we used off brand and a popular name product both seemed to cover well.

As long as you make sure to spray everywhere as Ron so bravely models here. That is the one down side it is not as easy to see that you got it everywhere when you are outside with the sun glaring on you. The pictures is a little hard to see, but it was taking with my phone, he has a few swirlish burnt marks on his belly and his shoulders got burnt pretty good too.

I did learn something else, some company makes sunscreen in a stick. I saw one that looked like a chap-stick and one that looked like a small deodorant stick. I am going to look into these closer, then I would get no sun screen on my hands at all !!

I am still in search of a big floppy hat that will fit my big ole head that doesn't cost a fortune. Yes I know it will probably last me many of summers so a pricer one may be my way to go for quality, but man I have a hard time paying that much money for something I only where on occasion.  If my head were smaller I could go to several local stores and pick one up. But no that is not what God had in mind when he gave me this large melon, guess I needed more space for all the brain he gave me. Stop laughing that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Hannah leaves for Costa Rica next week, this is both exciting and terrifying. I know she will have so much fun, but it is still hard for mama. We had a last minute scare that she may have to get some shots, but that turned out to be for a different country. She was very relieved at that fact.
She finally got her permit and Ron bravely let her drive afterwards. To say he was a little flustered after the fact is an understatement. Like I told him, she has never driven a car before, give her a break. So last night I took her to the church parking lot and let her get comfortable with being behind the wheel. It also helped some that she was in the Taurus not the big truck.  She did improve while we were there and like I told her she has lots of time to learn. And she will take drivers ed in the fall. I just don't want her to go into that class scared to get behind the wheel.
After looking at her summer schedule last night, I am not gonna see much of her this summer. Between being out of country and being out of state visiting my folks and her dad, she has a full schedule.

Elijah got moved up to the "big kid class" at school. He had his first field trip to the park yesterday. He absolutely loved it. We were told all about it several times last night. I think he is going to like being in the 3yr old class. He already doesn't hold onto me when I drop him off, he is running off to play with friends.
One thing we are learning about this little man is he LOVES the water! Doesn't matter if it is in the tub or the Gulf of Mexico. If he can splash, swim or just get a little wet he is all about it. He started putting his face and head under water this last pool trip so he could blow bubbles like sissy. He is growing up so fast and is amazing me daily. My favorite thing right now is for him to tell me his full name. I love how he says Haley, kind of haywee.

The new medicine seems to be helping me a bit. I am sleeping a little better and that has taken away some of the pain. I am still really stiff in the morning and have pain through the day, but it is not near as bad as it once was. I feel like I can live life again. I thank God that he lead me to a doctor that will listen and help me.
My family is thankful too cause ya know when Mama ain't happy................