Friday, June 24, 2011

Catching Up

Summer always seems to be a busy time for us. With Hannah having divorced parent's her time is split up during the summer. It's the time that she gets a big chunk of time with her dad. You all know about her trip this year and that threw off our normal schedule. I have had to sit down with a calendar and plan with her how the rest of the summer would go. She wanted to spend time with my folks, time with her dad of course and with school starting at the first part of August that didn't leave much time left. She will not be doing much with her friends or youth group this year. And it makes me wonder if this is a sign of things to come? Maybe this is what it will be like when she goes to college which is just a few years away (OMG).

With both kids at my folks house this week and next, Ron and I have enjoyed the chance to get to relax and reconnect. Sure we miss the kids. We talk with them on the phone and they are doing great. They have fun with Papa and Grandma. They are spoiled rotten up there, as are all the grandchildren. Which is how it should be.

On the health front we are trying new meds. We increased the dose of one, decreased the dose of another and added two new ones to the mix. One of the new ones is for the bad headaches I have been having so it's not an everyday pill. The other is Cymbalta. I tried taking it in the morning and found that I am really groggy during the day. So I switched it to night. That seems to help some. But I have this feeling of  nausea  most the day. I don't have much of an appetite. Which should aid in the weight loss I suppose. It has not been a full week yet and I want to give it a chance. My overall pain has decreased which is great. I still have a lot of stiffness in the morning which is to be expected. I know I am sleeping harder, Ron says he touches me at night and I don't budge.  I really like this new doctor. He sits down and actually listens to me. He asked me great and intelligent questions about how I was feeling. It is really a great feeling to not be dismissed or told you need to loose weight and everything will be better. I know I need to loose weight, I have been trying. But when you try and then have to go on steroids it knocks you back a step or two. You loose faith, you want to give up. I was so proud as was the doctor that I lost 3 more lbs this last month. It took me years to get as big as I am now. It will probably take me years to get it off. Yes I wish there was a magic pill that would melt it all away, but there is not.

I am thanking God today for my life, my family and my friends. For the support that so many have given me. For the people who brought us meals when I was too sick to cook. For the friends that sent text messages or emails just checking. The ones who gave Hannah a ride. So many people have touched our lives. I only pray that I can be that kind of blessings to others. I have had some pretty dark times of late. But I see a glimmer of light. I see a piece of me coming back when I am able to laugh and joke with my husband. When I am able to be the tickle monster to my 3 year old. When my teenager is able to be in her room doing things teenagers do instead of cooking dinner for her too sick mother. I thank God for the doctors and the medicine that is getting me to those places.  I know the journey is far from over. I know that I was so down and in despair that it won't happen over night. But with many hands reaching out for me, I feel like I can climb up and back into life.

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