Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Warning Labels

Have you ever thought to yourself that you or someone you know should come with a warning label?
For some reason this thought hit me last night. I work for a man that has a temper at times. Some days you can catch on before he explodes other times it catches you off guard. That was the obvious and easy answer for me. But then I did a little soul searching and realized that there are days that I need that warning label affixed firmly to my forehead. I am sure my family would be very grateful for the day I come home with Crabby, Moody, Upset, Sick or any such words flashing on my head for them to be warned to stay out of the way.
To not get ambushed by the short temper or ill word. I try really hard not to have those moments, I really do. But many times I catch myself when it's too late. After I have raised my voice to my 2 year old who is hanging on my leg while I am trying to handle a hot pan to "please for the love of God let go of my leg before I fall and spill this hot stuff on you and me".

The hurt in his eyes instantly breaks my heart in two. I know he is just trying to love on me after being apart all day. Why must life be so stressed sometimes? As much as I love the freedoms that me working allows us, ya know like eating. I do sometimes miss the days of low stress and snuggling with him. I feel like time is passing me by and I am spending it at work. Although I love his teacher at daycare, I feel like she is getting the best of him. By the time he comes home from school he is often cranky and moody too. Why does life have to be like this?

One of my dear friends has been dealing with some life changing decisions. And the discussion of fear has come up. Boy do I know about that. When Ron was told he wouldn't have a job any longer in IL. I prayed and prayed for God to show us a way to provide for our family. Along came the transfer. I was SCARED out of my mind to move hundreds of miles away from friends and family. I told Ron I would follow him where ever he went. The last Sunday before our move, we went to church like every other week. The message was about stepping out in faith and putting your fear aside to follow God. BAM!! I fell on my face at the alter that day. How can I be so afraid of something I had been praying so hard for. Why is it so hard to let God lead the way. Why when we pray and he answers our prayer do we still doubt?

Those two points tied together in my mind last night. That fear could be a warning label too. Fear can be taken out on others as much as a quick temper. I am praying today that the Lord help me not be afraid of where he is leading me, where ever that may be. That I will have the label of peace and love on my face when I go home to my family.

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