Thursday, October 14, 2010

To Hannah Part 1

**Disclaimer: This was getting long so I am going to break it into parts. Here is Part 1**

I have been pondering life and death lately. I am not sure why this is. But I think every parent has the fear at some point of leaving their kids too soon.

I think of all the things I would want my children to know if I couldn’t tell them.

And then it hit me, why wait? Why not make a list or a letter of sorts to them now. Let them know how much I love them and what I hope for them in life.

I will start with Hannah since she is old enough to read. I invite you to see my heart put into words for my daughter.

My precious baby girl. It is true I got pregnant way too young with you. But I would not give you up for anything. You have made me a better person. I am so proud of the young woman you are and of the lady you are becoming.

Let’s start with the 36 hour labor, it just proved to me that the really good things in life are worth waiting for and take some hard work, sweat and sometimes tears to get the pay off. And oh were you a payoff. Your beautiful face, the barely there peach fuzz hair. Up until you were 2 I did not know if I would ever be able to put a bow in your hair. Now look at all of the thick curls of hair on your head. *see waiting paying off again*

I tried so hard when you were little to keep you clean. HA! As you have seen with your little brother that is a waste of time. I only wish I wouldn’t have wasted as much time worrying about dirt and spent more time playing in the dirt with you. I did not realize at the time how quickly you wouldn’t want to play in the dirt with Mom anymore.

I am sorry thing’s didn’t work you between your Dad and me. I hope you know that we both love you very much and never wanted you to be from a “broken home”. I know that the journey with us has not been fun at times and I know you have seen us fight and argue. For that my heart breaks, you as a child should never have had to bear witness to that. Please remember that I am human and I was still so young and did not realize the extra hurt it would cause you. I know that going between two homes has been hard on you at times. I just hope that your heart is so full of love from two homes not just one. I know that your step-dad loves you with all his heart and you will always be his little girl as though you were his blood. Although I do not know your step-mom well I would like to think the same can be said for her.

You my daughter are easy to love. Everyone who meets you falls in love with you. You have the soul of an elder and the heart of God. I pray that your heart stays true and you keep your eyes on the Lord.

As you go through your teen years and into college you will have many trials and tribulations. Here is a little insight from my walk on this journey……..

Don’t let others tell you how you should dress. Just be comfortable and confident in what you wear. Also remember that under garments are meant to be worn “under” clothes not shown to others. It is not fair to judge a book by its cover, but many do. So pay attention to what your cover says about you.

Girls can be mean!!! You may be hurt more by girls then by boys. Sometimes it is their own insecurities that make them that way. Don’t let them get you down, keep your chin up and keep moving.

Speaking of boys, whew this thought still scares me. Remember when you are dating that you are looking for the person you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. I don’t mean that you will find him on the first date, but this is not to be just another number in your phone. I pray for your future husband, and you should to. Pray that God leads you to who it is he made for you.

I also pray that this young man be a Christian. I pray that you have someone to love you and love the Lord. If he loves the Lord first he will love you the way you deserve to be loved. I pray that you find someone that “gets you”, One that laughs at your jokes and makes you laugh with his. One that realizes that although the house may be a woman’s domain, it doesn’t mean that he should not be your helpmate. On that note my dear daughter, just because he doesn’t do something just the way you would do it. Be thankful that he helped and let him know. Men need to be told they are doing a good job. I hope you find one that does all the special things for you. That doesn’t mean you need flowers every week. But maybe he washes the dishes without you asking, or rubs your back. I hope he sees your needs and does the best he can to ease your burdens.

Remember that you can be anything you want to be (ok no you can’t be a dinosaur, except to dress like Barney). If you decided to pursue a career before you get married more power to you. If you get married while your working on it, that is fine too. If you choose to never get married well then that will be ok too. Whatever it is you do, even if it is waiting tables, just give it your best. Keep a good attitude and a smile on your face and even the hardest jobs can be rewarding. On the subject of waiting tables, remember that “service” workers are people too. Always treat them with respect and honor. You are not better then them. If someone does a great job tell them. Everyone likes to know when they do good. Always tip well if your service is good. And just because your food may not be right, it probably wasn’t the waiters fault. Remember it got made in the kitchen.

Even though this is easier said then done. Speak up for yourself. If you feel you are not being treated well then say so. You alone teach people how to treat you! Learn how to say NO to people. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. But in return try to help as many people as you can. Take a meal to a friend who needs it. Buy an extra soda for someone. Let the little old lady in line in front of you. Let me tell you some of the most meaningful things have been a quick text or call from a friend to let me know they are thinking and praying for me.

Pray for your friends, husband, kids, family etc. We all need prayer and God grants you a special bond when you are praying for them and them for you.

To be continued.......

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