We will not have a meltdown meeting tomorrow due to Spring Break. So I thought I would write a day early.
The exercise portion of this week has been nil to say the least. I have found it rewarding to get dressed, forget about working out. It is not often that my body gets the best of me like that. Sure I have aches and pains. But it hurt to move my fingers this weekend. I couldn't wear my wedding ring because I couldn't fit it over my swollen knuckle.I did get a steroid shot at the doctor on Monday and it is starting to help.
I am so blessed and very thankful to have a great support system. Hannah and Ron took care of me and Elijah while I was down and out.
Ron and I have been married 10 1/2 years now and this is the first big flare that he has seen. Yes I have been "sick" in the past, and maybe had to slow down. He knows I need to stay out of sun or wear sunscreen like a second skin. He knew I could and would catch most things that were going around. And well with kids in school lets face it there is always something going around. I told him when we first started dating that I had Lupus and he did some research on his own. I am so glad that he thought he could deal with it. Because let me tell you I love this man. Sure we are not perfect, but we work through it. I think we complement each other well. I don't think he could have pictured all those years ago taking care of me like he has had to do this weekend. He married someone 15 years younger then him, so I could take care of him. :-)
I was ashamed at first to ask for help cutting my food, then as one friend put it, "at least he is willing to help you should be grateful" and I am. I changed my outlook from woe is me to I am blessed.
I know that this disease that controls my body will only get worse over time. So I am making a promise to myself to start enjoying today. If I am able to play with my kids do it because tomorrow I might not be so lucky. If I can hug my husband without sheer pain, then hug him again, one day I might not be able to lift my arms that much.
In the story of life no matter who the author is, you or me, we all need to decide just how the story will go.
What does your story line say about you? Would you be considered a "Christian" author? Would it be sci-fi? Even though it is not fair to judge a book by it's cover we all do it don't we? What is your book of life saying to others? I don't want to be the one who everyone doesn't want to read because it's all about sickness and pain. Today i want to show you the chapter of thankfulness and blessings. Last night my whole family was blessed by a special friend who brought us dinner. I tried to ask her not to, but her words to me were "please allow me to share this blessing" Ummmmmmm how do you tell someone no after that? And it was a huge blessing. Hannah got a night off too. She has worked very hard to help me keep up the house, do dinner and take care of Elijah.
If you don't think God has his own perfect timing. Let me show you Hannah and Elijah. I know in my heart that I could not care for Elijah by myself. My body would not allow it. And He in his perfect plan gave us Elijah 12 years after Hannah so she could be a helper and second mother. I try very hard to not put too much on her and allow her to be a kid too. I get teary eyed when I think of her and her precious soul. She has the heart of a servant. I don't mean a maid or butler. No I mean that she wants to serve God and in doing so she tries to make the life of those around her better and easier. Her heart hurts when she sees someone in need or pain. She was the child many Christmas' ago that asked I not get her so many toys, but let her pick out some for the Angel Tree so another kid could have something.
I challenge you, if you think your story will not have a happy ending. If you think your book would read like a suspense thriller will all the bad things that have happened. Make the choice today to change the next chapter. Without those past experiences maybe you couldn't reach someone today. There is someone out there needs to know that it is possible to go through .... and live, to make it out on the other side. Maybe not unscathed but better and stronger for it. Thank you all for allowing me to be a character in your book of life!