Ok I know I am a day late and a pound short (bad pun I know). But here it is, I am ok, just was busy yesterday at work and didn't get a chance to type it all out.
Well one more week has come and gone on the meltdown. We have one more week to meet then we are on our own til the end of April. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. I have not done near as well as I wanted in this competition, and you all know the reasons we won't go into that. But I can say that I have been so thankful to have been a part of this. I have learned many things. And I am not giving up the fight just yet. I have lost a few battles along the way, but the war is still mine to win!!!
I am still watching what I eat and trying to keep my portions in check. I am still working out, although it may not be as much as some. I feel good that some movement is better then none. The bike has become my friend. I can ride it for a few miles and get my heart rate up and not kill my knee's and hips. I really need to spend more time on the treadmill, this is hard on me. It just hurts. But I have to build up my endurance if I am going to do the 5k at the end of April. I can tell that my endurance is getting better we did that devil class yesterday and although it did hurt the bottom a little, I am not walking as funny today as I did last time. The biggest thing I noticed is yeah I worked up a sweat, yeah I was breathing hard. But I didn't think I was gonna die either. I did however listen to Patrick when he told me not to stand up!! And the knee didn't kill me near as much as last time.
My great hope and prayer is that I can get my Lupus back in check and start to really exercise and drop the pounds before the end. I don't think I will win, but I don't want to be last either.
I know no one faults me for having the medical conditions and the injury that has held me back, but I don't want to live with that excuse. I know I have to listen to my body and just chill sometimes. And that is part of what got me so down this time. I was trying to push too hard. I was trying to recover from an injury and still work my body more then it was used to.
But let me tell you I have a renewed spirit. I didn't gain weight on those nasty steroids. I actually lost!! So take that you stupid little pills. You did not win this battle. You will not hold me down. I will control my body not you. Ok big talk I know, and it is still a battle every minute of the day not to eat everything I see. Honestly I have a renewed strength through this wage of wills. I thought it had won, was ready to cry into a bowl of ice cream last night about how unfair it is. HA Surprise. GOD came through for me. When I feel like I need to eat I pray, Lord please help me past this temptation and craving. I have gone through a lot of water and gum at work. Guess what it is working, I am hanging in there.
We are in the planning process for Elijah's 3rd birthday. Wow 3 already. His little attitude lately tells me he is approaching 3, but I sure am not ready for him to be a boy and not a toddler. And then 2 weeks after that Hannah turns 15. We decided we are just doing something small for both of them this year. Elijah will have a play party at the church and Hannah may have a friend or two stay over. I did tell Hannah that my plan is to pick her up from school and take her to lunch then to get her permit. I think that would be a great way to spend your birthday. Maybe I can throw a manicure or something in there too. She knows that her Costa Rica trip is part of her birthday so she is not getting any real gifts and she is cool with that. But I still want to make it a great day. I came to the realization a long time ago that i will never have day 5,475 with her every again. So on that 5,475th day of her life. I will make her feel special even if it's just through the small things.
How are you celebrating day ...... of your life?